Family and Marriage

Have you ever imagine yourself marrying with more than one man/woman at the same time? Or marrying your deceased brother's/sister's spouse? This article intends to inform you about the different types of marriages that currently exists in the modern society not just in the Philippines but also, around the world.  

Marriage is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. It is another key social institution that is closely linked with the institution of the family.Though, most people thought that marriage is a union between one man and one woman but marriage comes in a variety of forms. 

Marriage History, an article by Molly Kalafut, talks about the different types of marriage that exist not only in the Philippines, but also, around the world. By reading this article, it raised my awareness about the different types that are existing other than monogamy and polygamy. also, I am able to be familiarized with the distinguishing characteristics of each types. This article gives us 7 types of marriages, namely:

1. Monogamy
2. Polyandry
3. Polygyny
4. Polygynandry
5. Levirate and Sororate
6. Hypergyny
7. Hypogyny

Monogamy

Monogamy, or a marriage where each person has only one spouse, is one possibility among many. The marriages of my parents, as well as my uncles and aunties, belong to this type of marriage. My father and uncles find it advantageous because my mom and my aunties can take good care of their domestic needs and they are happy to have their wives who will take care of their health needs as they get older. On the other hand, my mom and my aunties may find it advantageous because they can have benefits like health insurance, protection, money and child-rearing supports from their husbands.

Polygamy

As I recall from my previous learning, this type of marriage involves marriage between one individual and more than one spouses at the same time and it is divided into two forms, namely: Polygyny and Polyandry. I am well familiar with this one because I had learned this already since grade school.

Polygyny

Polygyny is the most common form of polygamy and involves marriage of a man with two or more woman at the same time. It is practiced in parts of the Middle East and Africa but it is not widely practiced because it is not practical and expensive for a man to sustain more than one woman. For instance, Islam allows (but does not encourage) Muslim men around the world to marry up to 4 wives at the same time, provided that the man is fair in treating his wives. However, according to their Qur'an, if Muslim men are not able to economically support the women they marry, then they should be only married to only one woman.

Polyandry
This type is rarer and it involves the marriage of one woman to two or more men at the same time. In the previous example, if the Muslim men can marry more than two women at the same time, Muslim women, on the other hand, is not allowed to have a polygamous marriage.



Levirate and Sororate
Based on the article, levirate is the marriage of a man to the widow of his dead brother. In this type of marriage, family connections and alliances created by marriages can be maintained and reinforced. Sororate, on the other hand,  allows a widower to marry one of his wife's sisters.

The last two types are the Hypergyny and the Hypogyny. Hypergyny is the marriage of a woman to a man of higher social status or rank while Hypogyny is the marriage of a woman to a man of lower social status, rank or age. We always see this cases in dramas or in movies where the man/woman protagonist who is the president or owner of big company marries a woman/man who is younger or from the middle class. 

Families around the world also differ in terms of who rules or is in charge of the family. Therefore, patriarchal family is one which is being governed by men or a family where men are the ones who make the most important decisions while matriarchal family is one which is being ruled by women. Recently, another type of family exist which is the so-called egalitarian family, where both husband and wife share power in the family more or less equally. Note here, however, that many studies show that women (as compared to men) end up bearing a heavier load of housework and childcare in the majority of cases than men, even in so-called egalitarian families. 

Lastly, residence is a final factor that tends to change cross-culturally and which gives rise to the varied family types. In some cultures, families are patrilocal where the married couple lives with or near the husband’s family while in other cultures families are matrilocal where the married couple lives with or near the wife’s family. However, neolocal families is the most common type of residence in the world in which the married couple chooses its own place of residence separate from the husband’s or wife’s family residence.

The choice of one's own marriage is in his/her hands. No matter what type one wants to be married in the future, he/she must be responsible and must attend with his/her family needs especially the needs of his/her children.

Chapter 1: INTRODUCTION (Final Draft)

DIVERSITY AMONG FILIPINO FAMILIES
AND ITS EFFECTS ON CHILDREN

A Research Paper Presented to 

Sir Dustin Celestino 

Asia Pacific College 

Magallanes, Makati City 

In Partial Fulfilment 

of the Requirements for the Course 

RESWRIT – Research Writing 

Ranielyn Manuel 

October 2012

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Chapter 1 

INTRODUCTION 

A. Background of the Study

A family is the social basic unit of any society. A father, a mother and one or more children living in the same lodging is what construct a typical family. However, in the past decades, nuclear families have gone through major changes resulting in a more diverse family structure. This diversification and the appearance of new patterns of family and household formation bring in a real challenge in the Philippines present society.

The changing structures of the Filipino Families, such as single parent families, grandparent-led families, blended families, cohabiting families, homosexual families, etc., and a high chance that these families are experiencing different forms of family issues in their daily lives makes sharp focus the need to be discussed in a way that would not give severe adverse impacts to the children.

Children are experiencing much more diverse and fluid family arrangements than in the past decades. As childbearing outside of marriage has become more prevalent and divorce rates remain high, many children are spending at least a part of their lives with a parent or a step-parent. (Heather Joshi)

These changes in family arrangements resulted to a benefit of greater freedom to at least some adults, but how have they affected the children? (Heather Joshi) McLanahan explained that the pendulum of opinion on the effect of non-traditional family living in determining children’s welfare has been moving back and forth from pessimism to optimism over the past few decades.

“After a decade of research, a new consensus has emerged with regard to the effects of family structure on children: children who grow up with only one biological parent are less successful, on average, than children who grow up with both parents. These differences extend to a broad range of outcomes, and they persist into adulthood.”(McLanahan and Sandefur 1994; Haveman and Wolfe 1991, p. 37)

It is believed that material, emotional, and social sources is more abundant and effective if both of the parents are working together compared to the other family arrangements. (McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994). Therefore, some people argue that the enterprise of child rearing is more likely to succeed if there are two adults rather than one (Popenoe, 1993). and and a less conventional child-rearing may be  harmful to children. (Heather Joshi)

It is important to discuss the different non-traditional family structures and the evidence about their impact on child development. Although many forms of diversity in family structure occur, space does not permit to explore them all. In this research, nontraditional families such as one-parent families, unmarried heterosexual-parent families, families with lesbian and gay parents, and grandparent-led families will be discussed. With these, the readers will be able to understand the different needs of the families of today in order to develop family policies and services that will effectively support families in the upbringing of their children.

This research paper aims to enhance the understanding of the readers about how family structure relates to the development of Filipino children. It examines the results for children in different family types and in relation to factors internal and external to the family.


B. Statement of the Problem

This study aims to answer this question:

1. What are the issues brought by the diversification of family structure and their effects on Filipino children?


C. Significance of the Study

This study aims to establish an understanding on the different family issues in the Philippines brought by the diversification of the structures of the families and its implications on children. Furthermore, the study could be of importance to the following:

To Families. This study will be useful in making families, traditional or non-traditional, to understand the diverse family living situations and how it affects the development of their children.

To the Readers. This study will make the readers to be aware of the different family structures that are prevalent in the Philippines. Through this research, they will be able to understand how the development of the children varies with the different kinds of family structures.

To the Future Researchers. The ideas presented may be used as reference data in conducting new researches or in testing the validity of other related findings. This study will also serve as their cross-reference that will give them a background or an overview of the study.


D. Scope and Delimitation

This study focuses on the different issues brought by the diversification of the structures of the families and its effects on children. This study will only discuss about the different structures of families that currently exist in the Philippines.


E. Materials and Methods

This research paper uses a descriptive method because the researcher’s aim is to describe and to discuss the diversification of families and its implications on children. The researcher will also use articles, publications and the like from the internet as guides in making this research. The researcher will also conduct a survey in order to support the outcome of this study.


F. Definition of Terms

Blended Families and Step Families. In these families, children who are not blood related may live in the same house.

Cohabiting Families. In this kind of family, a man and woman live together but are not married. If there are children, at least one of the adults is a biological or adoptive parent.

Commuter Families. In these families, the parents live and work in different places in which one parent is the one who provides the primary residence while the other parent comes home after work but only for a short period of time.

Crisis. It is a crucial or decisive point or situation; a turning point in one's family life.

Extended Family.  A family which is usually define by some common genetic lineage that falls outside of the nuclear family. It consists of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.

Family. A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

Foster and Group Home Families. Children may live with foster parents and institutional child care workers while problems with their biological parents or guardian are being resolved.

Grandparent-led Families. The grandparents are the one who take the lead responsibility of child care when their biological parents are working, have died or cannot take good care of them.

Nuclear Family. It is named from the idea of it being the 'nucleus' of other family groups which consists of a father, mother and their children. A family is defined by their blood relation and through marriage of the parents.

Single-Parent Family. In this family there is only one parent in the home.

Society. The organization of mutually dependent people who share the same territory and culture and who act as one for survival and well-being purposes.

Living in an Extended Family

Does living in an extended family good? What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a larger family?

An extended family is a group of people who often lives in close proximity. It usually consists of parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, nephews and nieces who live together in a house which is enough to accommodate all of them. Extended family, like any other, has its own advantages and disadvantages. In some instances, however, these advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

After marriage, normally, the newly-wed moves out of their parental homes and live independently in a new house that they have rented or bought. However, because of cases like financial shortage or both parents work and nobody is left to look after their house and child/ren, most newly-weds are forced to live with the parents of either the two of them until they can finally live on their own. Or in some cases, those newly-wed who are suffering from financial shortages would ask for help from one of his/her married siblings. These cases always happen in most families in the Philippines or even in other Asian countries and in the western world.

I found an article entitled The Family which is written by an anonymous writer. The article talks about the functions of the family and types of families where I found the advantages and disadvantages of living in an extended family. 

I can relate well with this topic because I am one of those people living with an extended family and I can actually tell the advantages and disadvantages of living in this kind of arrangement based on my own experiences.

The article provides us some of the advantages of living in an extended family. These are:

More economical by sharing expenses

I agree that living in an extended family is more economical than living in a nuclear one because expenses like electricity bill, water bill, groceries and etc. can be shared among the two or more generations of relatives living in the same household. For example, one family is in-charge with the payment of electricity bill, the other one for the water and internet bill and the other one is in-charge with the groceries.

Parents have support with child care

It is also true that the parents have more support with child care. For example, the grandparents or the aunties can look after the children while both of them have some businesses to attend with. During the day, the grandparents or unmarried aunties can watch the children while they play outside to make it sure that they are safe from accidents or from bad people. They can also talk to the children while both of their parents are busy doing some household chores.Through this, the kids can learn their language. And since there are other relatives who can take good care of their children, both of the parents are free to work without worrying about their kids safety. Also, the kids have the chance to learn the values and norms of their society. Thus giving them more experience and exposure than in a small family where they can only learn from their parents. However, their parents cannot teach them everything because of the little time they have. So, it is indeed convenient if there are some relatives like a grandma or auntie at home to whom the parents can entrust their children.

Sharing problems

I think that it is also advantageous to live with an extended one because the big support structure has a stronger influence in many facets of life. An individual member's problem is softened by caring close members of the the family.

Companionship

The children may bond with their cousins while their parents are away. They can play, share secrets and help each other like friends. Many people who have extended families find it advantageous with everyone being able to support or to comfort one another in times of crisis like the death of one of members of their family or one member loses his job. In times like these, their relatives can be their companions while going through the crisis and they are always there to support until everything has been settled. Also, children of this kind of family learn cooperative work and develop a sense of brotherhood and caring for others which may eventually help them to become good leaders in their society.

In addition, people living with their extended families have a stronger feeling of security because there are more people around whom they can turn to if problems, financially or emotionally, arise. Another advantage is that this kind of family can also give off the feeling of belonging and also, there are plenty of role models for the children.

If there are advantages, to make it balance, the following are some of the disadvantages of an extended family:

Lack of privacy

One of the disadvantages of living in an extended family is that one's privacy may sometimes be denied. One may want to spend his time to think or to work alone but it may be impossible in this kind of family especially if there are naughty kids who always want to interfere with him/her. For instance, I had my own room before until my siblings move here in Manila from Pampanga. Since there's no room available to accommodate them aside from my room, I had no choice but to share my room with them. There are times that I can't help myself but feel irritated/annoyed with them especially when they can clearly see that I'm busy doing something like reviewing for the next day exams. I am actually happy that I don't have to travel every weekends just to be with them. But they are like my temptations. Every time I see them watching movies, I am tempted to just watch with them and I ended up not studying. When I see them sleeping, I felt sleepy too. Therefore, I can agree that there is really less privacy if there are lot of members in a family.

Overcrowding

For instance, it came such time that the unmarried aunties and uncles have already their own family and children to feed and they still live in the same household. As the number of family members increase, the house may tend to be overcrowded and it can't anymore accommodate them all. Because they are jobless and so they can't afford to have an extension or buy/rent a new place, the children or the other members' comfort will be sacrificed. 

In addition, there is also a kind of monarchy in this kind of family where the decision of the head of the family can't be challenged by any member. Because of such monarchy, one may not be able to exercise his rights of freewill. And also, although the grandparents are helpful in looking after the children while the parents are away, they can also meddle with the upbringing of the children and will tend to boss around the house which may be sometimes against the will of the other members. In such a case, the Golden Rule "whoever has the gold rules" applies which means whoever owns the house is the one who should rule and should be obeyed by the other members.

These are some of the advantages and disadvantages of living in an extended family. Looking at both sides, I can assume that although living in this kind of family has some disadvantages, still yet, the advantages outweighs the disadvantages. We should realize the value of having family no matter what who can help us in times of crisis and may give us wisdom in ways that were never thought to be possible. O:)

 :-h :-h :-h

OUTLINE

Diversity among Filipino Families
and Its Effects on Children

I.     Introduction

II.    Definition of Family

        A.     Myth of the Perfect Family

        B.     Nuclear vs Extended Family

        C.     Fluidity of a Family

III.   Diversification of the Structure of the Families     

        A.     Types of Family Diversity

                 a.     Organizational Diversity

                 b.     Cultural Diversity

                 c.     Social Class Diversity

                 d.     Life Cycle Diversity

                 e.     Cohort Diversity

        B.      Family Types and Theories

                 a.     Two-Parent Family

                 b.     Single-Parent Family

                 c.     Blended Families and Step-Parent Families

                 d.     Grandparent-Led Families

                 e.     Gay and Lesbian Parent Families

                 f.     Only Child Families

                 g.     Commuter Families

                 h.     Foster and Group Home Families

IV.   Effects on Children

V.    Families in Crisis

        A.     How To Handle a Crisis

        B.     How To Resolve a Crisis

V.    Conclusion

VI.   References

Nuclear Family: Advantages and Disadvantages

A nuclear family is defined as a family unit consisting of a mother and father and their children. Generally, it is believed that it is the ideal arrangement to raise a family where the father is the one who provides the needs of the families with the income he receives from work, the one who serves as the family disciplinary model and the one who insures the protection of his family while, on the other hand, the mother is the one who is in-charge with the household.

In the past decades, nuclear families have gone through major changes in their structure caused by divorce leading to single-parent families, remarriages, and resulted in extended families. These changes and the problems which they may cause, especially for the children, has brought the advantages of nuclear families back into focus.

An article I found from the Buzzle called Advantages of the Traditional Nuclear Family talks about traditional nuclear family. In this article, Rita Putatunda provides us six (6) advantages that a person may have from living in a nuclear family. These advantages are as follows:

• Stable Environment
• Behavioral Stability
• Sense of Consistency
• Learning Skills
• Sharing Responsibility
• Physical and Emotional Support

Stable Environment

Based on how it was explained in the article, children who were nurtured by a family with the same parents are more likely to have stability in their relationship and emotional bonding while those children who grew up with a single parent lack emotional and dual support that both both parents can provide.

Behavioral Stability

Children are said to have a better sense of what is right and wrong especially when both of their parents are there to guide and look after them.

A Sense of Consistency 

The nuclear family can provide children with consistency. Children who have both stability and consistency in their lives are more likely to behave positively, do better in school and become more involved in community and extracurricular activities.

Learning Skills

Based on my understanding, children from a nuclear family are more trained lengthily in life skills especially when there are only few members in the family. The parents can concentrate more in lecturing or training their children without worrying about their relatives' problems. 

Sharing Responsibility

Based on the explanation in the article, having both parents in the family, they may share the responsibility of the upbringing of their children. For example, one parent may do other things or may take a rest while the other parent attends to the needs of their children. Children may also share in the responsibility like the older siblings taking care of their younger siblings while their parents are not at home for some businesses. They may also share in the responsibility of doing household chores.

Physical and Emotional Support

Nuclear families usually have more physical and emotional resources with which they can reinforce the whole. Through observing their parents and by following the examples set by them, children learn how to help in the building of the family. If there are more members in the family, children might be confuse of who should they follow or not.

If there are advantages, of course, disadvantages will always be present although these disadvantages are only few. As I was looking for disadvantages of a nuclear family, I came across with an article written by Michelle Blessings entitled Pros and Cons of a Nuclear family from LoveToKnow. This article also provides advantages and disadvantages in her article. These disadvantages are:

• Isolation
• Burnout
• Less conflict resolution skills

Isolation

Based on what I had read, although nuclear family provides closeness and lifelong bonds with the other members, a nuclear family may isolate members from their relatives. Since the members are accustomed living with their nuclear family, they might think that they don't need their relatives anymore and so they tend to isolate their selves from their relatives. This can break down the extended family unit, which can be beneficial in hard times.

Burnout
Since we are just human, family members, particularly our mothers, may sometimes explode from attempting to meet the family needs by herself. Our mom is the one who prepares food, do the laundry, washes the dishes, look after us, and sometimes, they help our fathers to earn income in order to provide all our needs and wants.That leaves little time for pampering and nurturing their selves and their relationships with others. 

Less Conflict Resolution Skills
As it is explained in the article, if we think that nuclear family is advantageous in terms of having less conflict and stress, it also puts the family at a disadvantage. Nuclear families can begin to develop like-minded thinking, which will lead to fewer arguments within the family unit. However, it can increase the disagreements with extended family members. Their relatives can help them learn to effectively deal with conflicts and opinions other than their own.

Whether you choose to live or to raise your family to be a nuclear one, it doesn't necessary mean that it will provide your family success or eternal happiness. However, it can provide you basis in achieving those. By being aware of the possible disadvantages, you can always find some useful ways to lessen them. After all, no family is perfect. The important thing is to work together with your family at all times and it will ensure you the best possible results.

Nuclear vs Extended Family

A family is known as the basic social unit in a society and it is crucial in humanity. Do you know the reason behind these definitions? For those who don't know yet, let me first discuss about it before moving on to the main topic. 

A society is defined as the organization of mutually dependent people who share the same territory and culture and who act as one for survival and well-being purposes. The family with whom an individual lives with must meet his basic physiological needs like foods, shelter and clothing which are essential for his survival while, on the other hand, a society, attached with their culture, must meet the needs of its people like public order and public policy. Family is considered as the basic unit of society because everything starts from the family. The family in the end is what meets the basic survival needs of an individual being, while a society is the social network of peoples who support this goal. 

A family also plays a major role in the development of each family member in compliance with the law and policy in their society. The blame is often put to the family whenever there are problems in the personality or behavior of a person in relation to the society. It is said that stable families are the first unit in building unified communities and a stable society. For this reason, we should put greater emphasis on the way a person is raised in the family where he belongs because, eventually, the result would either benefit the society or be a source of trouble for the whole community. 

Moving on, a family is also defined as a unit which consists of group of people who are blood related or related through marriage and live together on the same house. In our today's society, there are these two major types of families that are prevalent. These are the so-called nuclear families and extended families. It is necessary to understand the differences between these two to explain their advantages or disadvantages. Let's find out the differences between these two types of families.

As I was browsing the internet, I found an article entitled Difference between Nuclear and Extended Families which is written by Katherine Harrington, an eHow contributor. This article provides us clear and brief definitions of nuclear and extended family. Here's how the article put distinctions between a nuclear family and an extended family.

Nuclear Family
Based on the article, a nuclear family is named from the idea of it being the 'nucleus' of other family groups which consists of a father, mother and their children. A family is defined by their blood relation and through marriage of the parents.

Extended Family

The extended family is a family which is usually define by some common genetic lineage that falls outside of the nuclear family. It consists of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. It can be traced back for many generations and can be quite large. An example is the picture on the right which is the extended family of Bush. 

In other words, a nuclear family consists of husband and wife with their children living in the same place while an extended family consists of more than two generations and therefore it is larger than the nuclear family. More than two generations means that it may consist of grand grandparents, grandparents, parents and children.

Furthermore, a nuclear family often live separately from their relatives and the parents in this type of families are the ones responsible in the upbringing of their children. On the other hand, in an extended family, the members often strongly support each other.

Which are more prevalent between the two major types of families? We can say that nuclear families are probably common in cultures that lay emphasis on individuality and independence while extended families are probably exist in cultures that highlight group interests and high extent of reliance among family members.

In the past, people remained with their parents and even married and raised their kids in the same home because of less job opportunities. The type of family that we're talking about consists of husband and his wife, their children, spouses of their children and offspring of their children. Having this extended family, they can divide their roles and responsibilities to each member which can lessen the duties of each of them. For example,  the men of the family are the ones who works and support the family with the income earned while the women are left at home to look after the children and to prepare their foods. This arrangement worked well in the past because it was easier for men to be sure of the security of their families.

But when opportunities had come for them to work in cities, they grabbed it and move out of their parental home. Through this, the concept of a nuclear family had developed. It was only natural for a man to get married after getting a job in a city away from his parents and relatives and start his own family there. In nuclear families, there is greater privacy and autonomy for the head of the family. The father, which is considered as the head, may now freely decide on certain family matters which he cannot do while he was still in an extended family and the mother is more confident in her approach of raising a nuclear family rather than when she's in an extended family where she have to consult the others first before doing an action.

What is the difference between Nuclear Family and Extended Family? With the above statements, we can see that nuclear families encourage more entrepreneurship than extended families. But children are more likely to rebel especially if both of their parents are working and no one is left at home to look after them. But I can say that it is better for people in an extended family because they can have their works and responsibilities be divided among the others. And also, raising the children is easier since there are more women who can take care of them while their parents are at work. However, in terms of freedom, the nuclear family can freely decide on certain family matters without consulting first the other members of the extended family. 

Families In Crisis: How To Resolve A Family Crisis

There is no such thing as a perfect family. Families of today, whatever their sizes or shapes, have their own recipes of strengths and weaknesses. There are times when families are besieged by what it seems like a never-ending list of challenges in terms of attending to each family member’s needs, whether in school or in work. There are also times when the families get assaulted by turmoil such as job loss, ill health, or sudden death of any family members. And even happenings like receiving a bonus, job promotion, wedding or winning in a lottery can also upset families although those are some of the events that we consider as happy ones.

What can we do in times like these? How does each members of our family should act without contributing more to the crisis? Obviously, this is the continuation of my previous post which is about handling family crisis in best ways.

As I was browsing multiple of articles on the internet, I happened to read an article by Dr. Phil about How Families Can Overcome Difficult Times. Thankfully, this article itself provides us few, but helpful, suggestions on how to survive a crisis in a family. These are:

1. Set blame aside.
2. Prioritize your problems. 
3. Stand in others' shoes. 
4. Re-engineer the family unit.
5. Recognize that everyone's affected. 
6. Don't get stuck in the past. 

The aforementioned are just a quick look of what you can find on Dr. Phil’s article. However, if you’d like to have a comprehensive understanding of these, I recommend you to visit his linked site.

In dark times like these, it is not only about dealing with the consequences of the crisis but it is also about how to keep a family to continue to help and support each other despite of the crisis. Based on what I had understood from reading the article, each of the family members should not waste their time pointing fingers to anyone. Feelings like anger and resentment need to be put aside so that the family can work together and can make good use of their time looking for solutions for their problems at hand. No matter what the crisis may be the most important thing is to stick together as a family while going through the crisis.