HW2: Parental Separation and Its Effects on Children

Have you ever experienced celebrating Christmas with either your mom or dad and the rest of the clan? This temporarily happens to children whose parents are working overseas. What if this is not the case and your parents have separated due to some conflicts at home? What would you feel about it? How will this affect you?

Majority of us think that Christmas is always a magical time in our lives particularly for children where all of our family members are gathered to celebrate such special occasion together. But unfortunately, this is not often the case. There are some cases of parental separation where the children whose parents have separated during the past year may experience the prospect of having their Christmas divided into two homes. But the worst case scenario would be that of not seeing one of their parents at all.

The effect of such parental separation on children can be disastrous whether it happens out of the blue or if conflicts are already present in the home before, during and after the separation. In this sad cases, the children are the ones who suffer and they often find it difficult to adjust with the strong emotions caused by such family break up. Parental separation is deemed connected with a wide range of adverse impacts on child outcomes, both as a short-term results of the change and in the form of more continuing effects that carry on into adulthood. Some of these effects include anxiety, aggression, behavioral problems, lack of concentration, low self-esteem and other adverse impacts on cognitive capacity, schooling, physical, mental and emotional health, social behavior, relationship with peers and they are more likely to have vices such as smoking and drinking alcohols. A further range of effects in early adulthood and beyond include higher rates of early departure from home, teenage pregnancy, early marriage, marital dissolution, lone parenthood, economic hardship, poor relationships with parents and discontentment in life.

I found an article written by Nicole Campbell, a LiveStrong contributor, which discusses the effects of separating children from their parents. This article is actually based or in reference to an article written by Susan Hois, a child development specialist of nurturing parents, entitled Effects of Separation and Loss on Children's Development. According to her, the separation of a child from his/her parents which is caused by death, separation, divorce and etc. can have serious effects on children's development. 

Increased Dependency
Children who have separated from one or both of their parents are appeared to have more dependency on others. According to Hois, it is only natural for these children to require more help with the things that they can do on their own. This may also lead to a more clingy behavior particularly in situations where children have been or feel like they have been left by their parents.

Grief
Research has shown that grief is one of the effects of parental separation to children. Experts suggests that it is important to understand this grief and to talk it out in order to help the children to successfully pass through it.

Trust Issues
The article tells us that children who are victims of parental separations tends to mistrust their parents or those adults who are supposed to be the ones who should be giving care and guidance for them as they undergo developmental processes. According to Hois, this mistrust extends only for a short period of time and although it is difficult to gain back this trust, being consistently there on their children's side may help them to get it back.

Identity Issues
Based on what I have read from the article, children may also struggle with the development of their own sense of identity. Just like trust issues, having identity issues is a short term effects on children.

The changing of the structure of a family caused by separation and divorce of parents requires complex adjustments on the part of the children. Frequently, these produce higher chances of poor child well-being when it comes to academics, physical and emotional health, and psychological development of children which can be carried on to adulthood. If there are more conflicts even after separation, the extent of risk for children's development are more likely to increase.

Any relationship break-ups can be a serious nightmare in our lives for it is often the time where we may may experience confusions, anxiety and anger with high levels of conflict. Although some people think that an acceptance of such break-up can be quickly done and after which the healing process may begin, it is still important for our parents to consider before thinking of separation that we, the children, are the ones who will be adversely affected by such end of relationships.